Privacy Statement

Okay, if you’re reading this page, I’m worried about you!  So, let’s start by calming your fears.  First, we don’t gather or track any information about your visit.  We don’t do cookies, collect anything, and have no desire to spy on you or report your web browsing habits to ANYONE.

We do have a contact form which only takes the information that you’ve submitted and emails it to us so that we can contact you and help you in anyway possible.  We do not store the information from our contact form anywhere on the site and the emails are destroyed after we’ve made contact with you.

Now the worst news:  we do use Google Analytics on our site.  This gives anonymous information to Google and in return, Google shares reports with us on our sites visitor browsing.  It is anonymous and seems to be pretty futile to try to hide the information.

About our employees and information they receive:  Our employees never see any of your information or financial information from you or your company.  Any payment transactions are done securely through a third party payment processor that is world renown for keeping your information totally secure through the transaction process.

One last note on employees: we joke about our hood cleaners being vampires but we’re pretty sure that none of them are real vampires.  We can’t guarantee it though.  But it is not our intention to hire real vampires and if we find that any employee is (or becomes) a vampire, it will be grounds for immediate termination.

So that’s it.  Our badass Privacy Statement.  I’m really curious as to whether anyone reads these things or not.  But we decided not to go with the massive and ridiculous declarations that everyone thinks you need to see and go with something simple and in plain english.  Have a nice day!